As mentioned earlier this summer, 2009 marks our 20th year as a band. And to paraphrase a joke someone made (somewhere online…), even disengaged&distracted us couldn’t pass by a milestone like that with only a website post to point to along the way.
So we’ve set up a couple of ‘We’ve Been a Band For One-Score Years’ shows for December 3rd & 4th. And being all Garden State and all, they’ll be going down at the Pride of Hoboken, Maxwell’s.
One show will be all-request old wrens songs, one will be all new songs, details below. But first, a quick look back at how far we’ve crawled (c. 1991):
Now, we don’t usually condone the zestier language here, but just look at this fucking mess. There are airline disasters less grisly.
Charles has given new meaning to the old sexist phrase ‘nice knobs’. It now means ‘knees’. He’s also going a little heavy on the “She Blinded Me with Rest-stop Sunglasses and Short-Pants” and looks, not so much further back in the photo, as he does much, much smaller than everyone else.
As if Kevin’s imagining him.
Kev has shed the top half of his exoskeleton to reveal the world’s tightest wristwatch and a surprising commitment to ‘Lite’ beer. But that’s all to distract us from a more sinister truth – Kevin Whelan…is a Centaur and the folded jumpsuit hides his bottom horsey half.
Jerry is mulling over an especially tough call on the last corner kick while moonlighting as the most intensely motivated salesperson at Foot Locker.
He in turn, is wearing the Pope Gregory hat – a stunning 28” likeness of Greg rendered in felt and beaver fur.
Water-repellent. Reversible. Sleeveless.
Good thing there was a camera there at the exact moment the four of us beamed in to lay claim to Least Cool Band in the Universe.
Vote Early, Vote Often
Sorry....anyhow, for both of you still reading, here are the themes to our pretty parties:
For the Thursday, 12/3 show, you make the play, armchair Quarterflash. You write the set list. Yep, whatever obscure ditty from our vast catalog of 3.5 albums in 20.5 years that we normally wouldn’t touch with a 10-foot Kevin, you vote ‘em in, and we’ll…probably make you regret it.
Nope, you don’t have to be going to the show. How would we even know? And yes, you can vote more than once. Why would we care? The New Math that will be used to calculate your vote and compute our oldies set, exists where the plane of imaginary numbers is bisected by the tangent of nano-technology and will weed out your shabby attempts at rigging the system.
So tell us what songs to play and whichever get the most votes, go in the set.
To do that, go to our Contact / email the band page , drop us a message with a tune or two or even a whole set that, given an infinite space-time and a merciful god, you’d wanna hear us try to play. Maybe put ‘Play Drunk’ in the subject line since we’ll probably have to that night.
Voting will end…let’s say, a little over a week from now, October 3rd. Gives us two months to get it together.
This is Our (New) Music
As for Friday, 12/4, come dressed as your favorite wren. Balding, middle-aged Paunch Men are automatically disqualified per competition guidelines. Bird costumes, encouraged.
For that show, we’re doing all new songs. Or as many as we can muster.
Oh yeah, we’ll have some as-yet-to-be confirmed friends’ bands from the days of yore playing both shows as well.
As always, one-score-and-seven-months-worth of thanks,